1. |
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Unimpressed but that might say something about
Myself that I didn't want to say
I've got the same disposition as yesterday
And even if my ego doesn't want to hold my weight
I still still have to stand.
Never know what I'm talking about when
I am acting like I should
And I can't say honestly that
I ever did all I could
And even if everyone abandoned ship just like I would
I would still understand.
This is the future I was scared to know I'd have
And I've got it now
Dissatisfaction never quite goes away
But you can try to let it out
You can try to let it all out.
Feeling like I'm not the only guilty one
Just the one that's in my head
And the one that has to review all of the evidence
And even when I've got nothing left to defend
I will still have to stand.
Find it too easy to get tensed up so
I'm stuck where I'm at
And every muscle movement is compensation for just that
And even when no one has patience for what I have
I will still understand.
This is the future I was scared to know I'd have
And I've got it now
Dissatisfaction never quite goes away
But you can try to let it out
You can try to let it all out.
But I will still have to stand.
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2. |
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If mistakes in our plans don't kill us
What will kill us then?
And if the blood in my hands didn't come from inside
Where did it then?
And if our lives will be different
Well, let them be different then.
And I don't know what's in those notes that I wrote
But I remember them
And if the truth isn't in at least one
Then I don't know what is
And if there's one word to make it clear
I'm sure that I refrained from it
Because I've got more dirt in my mouth
Than under my feet
And I think that it's starting to bother me
And catharsis just refuses to come quickly
It's slowing down my bones
Slowing down my bones and making me walk
Gracefully.
Fear is a radio whisper of a song I used to play
And as long as I'm deceiving myself I can hear my name
But the static sounds alright, I think that
I will let it play today.
And I didn't mean to give the game away
That's just how it works
And I will make a list to apologize to everyone I hurt
And if you think that I'd mislead you, yeah
You can bet I would
Because I've got more dirt in my mouth
Than under my feet
And I think that it's starting to bother me
And catharsis just refuses to come quickly
It's slowing down my bones
Slowing down my bones and making me walk
Gracefully.
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3. |
Kerosene
03:47
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I lit a lantern for you
That I ended up using to find my way back and
It got burnt out before it got seen
But one day I'll go shopping for kerosene.
My heartache will lessen with the size of my heart
And though that's a good fit it doesn't feel good
And though I remember promising I would
I don't think I took care of myself.
And I've still got this scar on the side of my thumb
That will always be there but it's healing up nice
From the same night that you borrowed my knife
That you used without noticing the blood.
I lit a lantern for you
That I ended up using to find my way back and
It got burnt out before it got seen
But one day I'll go shopping for kerosene.
I lost perspective as soon as I could
Because my vision has never been great
And though starting now is starting too late
I have learned to play it by ear.
It'd be romantic to burn it all down
To shred every story and start again new
But I'm afraid that the way that I grew
Means that I'm sewn into these walls.
I lit a lantern for you
That I ended up using to find my way back and
It got burnt out before it got seen
But one day I'll go shopping for kerosene
In the morning I'll go shopping for kerosene.
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4. |
Redacting
05:13
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Easily enough you drop what you're doing
In the city where you live and come back home
Eviscerate the walls and tear up the floorboards
For a weekend at best and then go back
But I will find the house you live in now
And I'll define the ghosts you hear from now
And I'll defile the idea hanging around your head
About coming home again.
It's easy enough to hide the risks and
Oh my god, I really did
It wasn't my intent to trap you
And even if I built the walls you
Pound your bloody fists into
I didn't think I could actually harm you.
But I will find the house you live in now
And I'll define the ghosts you hear from now
And I'll defile the idea hanging around your head
About coming home again.
One day you'll find the documents
And you'll try your best to fill them but
No matter what you black the pages with
You'll only be redacting.
But I will find the house you live in now
And I'll define the ghosts you hear from here on out
And I'll defile the idea hanging around your head
About coming home again
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5. |
Honorary Goners
03:35
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What seems to be the matter?
A fuzzy halo around your head
And lines that point into the mountains
We can't remember what was said
And if we're gone then we're already gone
And if we're here then we are honorary goners
And if we're here then we have reason to belong
And if we're gone we have something in common.
I never walk as if I matter
Extemporaneous and bored
And if all talk's reduced to chatter
I'll take the lines that point me north.
And if we're gone then we're already gone
And if we're here then we are honorary goners
And if we're here then we have reason to belong
And if we're gone we have something in common.
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6. |
Decadence
03:42
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What's the point of living
If I ain't spilling
Myself in every crevice?
And if time's worth keeping
I'll set my watch this evening
To see if I can really grasp it.
'Cause I've got demons and a bone to pick
Like everybody else, like everybody else
'Cause I've got demons and a bone to pick
Like everybody else, with everybody else
'Cause I've got demons and a bone to pick
Like everybody else, with decadence
'Cause I've got demons and a bone to pick
Like everybody else
The scraps between my teeth
So rotten they could be anything, I was wrong
To pick them out and not swallow them whole
I'm gonna need to reach
If I'm gonna get by just grasping at straws
It's all I really got, it's all I really got
But not for long.
What's the point of failure
if every dead endeavor
Is so delicately measured?
For once I'd like to wallow
Eye to eye with sorrow
And let the sadness be my pleasure
'Cause I've got demons and a bone to pick
Like everybody else, like everybody else
'Cause I've got demons and a bone to pick
Like everybody else, with everybody else
'Cause I've got demons and a bone to pick
Like everybody else, with decadence
'Cause I've got demons and a bone to pick
Like everybody else
The scraps between my teeth
So rotten they could be anything, I was wrong
To pick them out and not swallow them whole
I'm gonna need to reach
If I'm gonna get by just grasping at straws
It's all I really got, it's all I really got
But not for long.
'Cause I've got demons and a bone to pick
Like everybody else, like every
body.
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7. |
Magnetic North
03:22
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Holding out a compass in the wrong direction
Trying to find the right things in reverse
The other way was pointing nowhere
And I know that nowhere isn't home
I know that nowhere isn't home
I've been there
Trying hard not to read the future
'Cause I know there's blank pages at the end
And maybe some in the middle
And I know the middle is my own
I know the middle is my own
I have been there.
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8. |
Igloo
03:22
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Inconveniently inspired by my misgivings
To never have to make a choice of where I should go
Rubbed the wrong way again and I will not find another hollow to grow warm in
Dead set in my desire to sleep in the snow.
They say it gets clearer the deeper you go.
Intermittently impeded by the feeling that the feeling is leaving my body and
Haunted by it less and less and I am left to adapt to the cold and
If I had a fire now I think that I would only seek to burn all my organs
Because desperation leads every man to his own newest lower.
They say it gets clearer the deeper you go.
Asserting my own narrative and fitting it to the situation
To make it seem like I have a semblance of self-control
But even if I make it out alive today there's still tomorrow
And I'm wise enough to know I don't know.
They say it gets clearer the deeper you go.
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9. |
Little Plot of Nothing
02:55
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I deny
That my baser instincts ever gave me pride
Though I
I will kick and scratch
I'll claw and dig and bite
All for my little plot of nothing
I'll plant my flag
In my little plot of nothing
I rely
On assurances that I'm not wasting time
And if I have
On convincing me it's really not that bad
Have I earned my little plot of nothing?
Tell me I've earned my little plot of nothing
We could share the flesh of my rotted fruit
Neglected after windfall shook it loose
Maybe I have one thing left to lose, you know,
My little plot of nothing
Here's what I've grown on my little plot of nothing
Sickeningly sweet or just sickening
My little plot of nothing
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10. |
I Will Die Three Deaths
03:42
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I will die three deaths
One I have already met
One when I truly pass
And one when I'm forgotten
I will die three deaths
With at least one life of regret
But hopefully two half-lived
So I can make a whole out of it.
And when I found
I can't escape the sound of my voice
I was disappointed
A pseudonym spoken like a hymn to heal
Myself, disjointed
I will die three deaths
And not dwell on any one of them
And until the next
Try to make progress
And where I find
I've wasted my time, I wonder
If that is dying too
And if so, then my time to go
Can't be anything but soon
Anticipation's the wrong word
But I'm prepared to.
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11. |
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The last beautiful thing that I wrote
Well, it must have been years and years and years ago
I remember the cadence but never the notes
And I've since quit writing down what I know
From when I had the mountain on my tongue
And I didn't need anyone
Until the taste was all gone and my tongue was still parched
And there I was
The last horrible thing that I wrote
Was the silence I wrote for myself in the back of my throat
You know I scribbled it down, I learned it by rote
And I could still hear it in there even when I spoke.
But I had the mountain on my tongue
And I didn't need anyone
Until the taste was all gone and my tongue was still parched
And there I was.
I cannot wait
Like I have been waiting
For someone to say
That I need changing
I cannot wait
Until there's a day
Where I take of my skin
To feel something new again
And it won't take long to figure out
When I said I was lonely
I just wanted something new to think about
And maybe try to lighten myself.
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12. |
Do You?
02:46
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We could clean it up
Starry-eye my desperation
It looks better as romance
And I could counter-argue
But I don't think that I will
'Cause I don't think that you care
You don't care do you?
'Cause even if you did
I'd unpack half-truths and fix the latches
They get a little easier to open every time
And even if you wanted to act in my best interest
You'll get fooled
You don't think that I'm interested do you?
It'll take a little to get between myself and my self-diagnosis
And I won't step back gracious
And I know there's little belaboring the point
When your size outpaces me
You think you got the cure to being bitter?
Well the pill tastes just as bad as the real thing
And I hope you don't expect me to get better
You don't think that I intend to help myself, do you?
'Cause even if I did
I would provide my own superstition
And it would make sense while I dwelled on it
And I know it sounds like I am stuck on being stubborn
But that's okay
You don't expect anything-
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13. |
A Curiosity
03:54
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I used to give directions but I don't know where to go
So if you see a signpost let me know
I used to sing my sadness like it meant something to me
But now it's just a curiosity
And the strangest part
Of what I wrought
Is that it gets me by
So if you find
A purpose in life
Let me know
So that I can try.
I used to think that I contained the treasure and the key
But now they feel completely lost to me
My hubris had convinced me that the wind had finally died
But now I know it's just biding its time
And the worst of this
Ineloquence
Is that it gets me by
So if you find a more peaceful time
Let me know
So I can come inside
Not bad for a makeshift tragedy
The kind you can watch
And never lose sleep
I thought I had the wherewithal but now I guess I'm spent
And now you'll have to wonder what I meant
And now you'll have to wonder what I meant.
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14. |
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Dylan, write a song
Isn't that all that you could've done?
The wait will be long if you count it like that
Distract your mind, put it to rest
And I know you won't be
Kind to yourself
And I know knowing that fact
Will do little to help
And I know the wolves in the house
Won't let you out
But you can take care of yourself
Now.
Dylan, write a song
You'll wish that you hadn't
But you don't wanna be alone
The ones you write about
Are saying you're wrong
And they've got a point, you know.
And I know you won't be
Happy somehow
But don't be ashamed by the
Dirt in your mouth
Catharsis is slow
You said it yourself
The world can take care of itself
For now.
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