1. |
Nothin'
03:12
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Nothin' makes me feel worthless
like somebody who knows what they're doing
and nothin' makes me feel worthless
like the people that I love
and hurting just seems pointless
when I'm the only one getting hurt
and nothin' will make it worth it
but I'm still counting on it to work.
And I'm so fucking scared
that I'll remember you.
Nothin' makes me feel hopeless
like trying to talk to you
and reading my words on paper
just feels so incomplete
and I was wrong
to think that telling you would set me right
and I was still wrong
when I was relieved to be home.
And I'm so fucking scared
that I'll remember you.
I will hammer on my convictions
because I know which ones are broken and
I will gladly toss away fragments
until nothin' makes me feel worthless.
And I'm so fucking scared
that I'll remember you.
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2. |
West Yellowstone
02:35
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Sitting at a table in a soulless tourist town,
you told me how you got to where you are
and if I'm you in two years, then I won't be so scared
but if I'm me, I think I let me down.
and someone else once told me it was good that I was lost
because then I had a chance to find myself
and I didn't object then, but I sure as hell would now
because I know that I won't make it home.
ooh, I won't make it home
ooh, I can't.
Staring at the skyline while I still have the chance
it doesn't feel the same from this place
and as long as I have my bags in front of me
I dig through and throw something away.
Spitting at the ground before it's time for me to go
and cherishing the company that's left
and I don't think that I'm any good for anyone
but I'm still glad you said I am.
ooh, you said I am,
ooh, you did.
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3. |
Whatever I Am
03:14
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Hesitation is my strong suit
and I've got small-time plans
to stick around while it eats me whole.
And I've got cracks in the ceiling
and I can see the sky
and I know damn well where I should go.
And whatever I am,
I'll make it sound like a good plan
and I don't want you to listen, no,
because I am pretty convincing.
Well, I had years to make my name
now it will take years to get it clean
and I don't like what I put ahead of me,
but I put it there.
And I knew destruction before it knew me,
but now I think we're friends.
And whatever I am,
I'll make it sound like a good plan, yeah,
and I don't want you to listen, oh no,
because I am pretty convincing.
And I don't think that you can,
but if you could, would you give me peace?
And I knew destruction before it knew me,
but now I think we're friends.
And whatever I am,
I'll make it sound like a good plan
and I don't want you to listen, no,
because I am pretty convincing.
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4. |
Kerosene
04:00
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I lit a lantern for you
that I ended up using to find my way back
and got burnt out before it got seen
and one day, I'll go shopping for kerosene
My heartache will lessen with the size of my heart
and though that's a good fit, it doesn't feel good
and though I remember promising I would
I don't think I took care of myself.
And I still got that scar on the side of my thumb
that will always be there but it's healing up nice
from the same night that you borrow my knife
that you used without noticing the blood.
I lit a lantern for you
that I ended up using to find my way back
and got burnt out before it got seen
and one day, I'll go shopping for kerosene
I lost perspective as soon as I could
because my vision has never been great
and though starting now is starting too late
I have learned to play it by ear.
And it'd be romantic to burn it all down
to shred every story and start again new
but I'm afraid that the way that I grew
means that I am sewn into these walls.
I lit a lantern for you
that I ended up using to find my way back
and got burnt out before it got seen
and in the morning, I'll go shopping for kerosene
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5. |
Migrate
04:14
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Try as I might
I can't keep these days from flying
back into the past where
honestly, I think that they belong
and my eyes are fixed
on the northern line.
The one that burnt me up so bad when I was there
but it should be snowing this time.
and I've made some bad first steps in my lifetime.
Never had a chance
that I didn't get to wasting
and in my defense, my hindsight's gotten pretty good
at noticing
I will take my time
just as soon as I can find it
and I will wander until my bare feet
finally feel right.
and I've made some bad next steps in my lifetime.
I think I had more than I have
and I will run myself ragged just to try and get it back
I think I had more than I have
and I will either learn to compromise or starve myself to death
and either way it seems I'm meant to migrate.
and I've made some bad conclusions in my lifetime
and I've made some bad conclusions in my life.
I think I had more than I have
and I will run myself ragged just to try and get it back
I think I had more than I have
and I will either learn to compromise or starve myself to death
and either way it seems I'm meant to migrate.
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6. |
Wasteland
05:04
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If I don't make it out of this tailspin,
it's because I didn't want to.
Fingers pressed against this pale glass while I'm
waiting to talk to you.
Told the whole truth across a few people,
so I'm lying just a little bit
and I know it will kill me if I'll let it and I'll let it
or I already have.
And things get a little easier when
I'm easy on myself.
And I could feel my blood getting warm but it's
already cooling back down.
Weathered this storm a few times before and I
should have learned by now
to get out before it ever starts and the tide starts pulling me out,
but it is pulling me out.
I'm a fool to think that I've ever been
anything worth anything and
I see a wasteland where I see myself
and it's been so long since I've seen anyone else.
I think I'm starting to get used to
turning into a stranger
and leaving out bad excuses for
terrible behavior.
Used to think I could keep myself honest
but honesty's caught in my throat,
and it's all gonna come down to how long
I am willing to choke
and I am so willing to choke.
I'm a fool to think that I've ever been
anything worth anything and
I see a wasteland where I see myself
and it's been so long since I've seen anyone else.
Don't let the worst of me
get the best of you.
I'm a fool to think that I've ever been
anything worth anything and
I see a wasteland where I see myself
and it's been so long since I've seen anyone else.
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7. |
Clear Night
04:27
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I've been looking for the ways down
and I have been for awhile now.
I'm all talk and some cinders
left from when the fire went out.
There's a fever in this room
and it has left it's mark on you.
I never thought that I would ever
need it to keep me warm.
I threw away maps of places I won't see again
it's such a waste, it's such a waste, the way it's been
and these dialogues in my own voice will never treat me right
it's such a waste, it's such a waste of this clear night.
I've got petals pressed in my wallet
that I found once in a church
and they're not holy, but they'll hold me
over until something is.
And you are wind in the foothills,
you will burn me with your cold
and it's okay. I'll cover my face
and keep moving on.
I threw away maps of places I won't see again
it's such a waste, it's such a waste, the way it's been
and these dialogues in my own voice will never treat me right
it's such a waste, it's such a waste of this clear night
and I will make it clear to you what I am seeing
I will stare until my eyes begin to cloud.
and I'll count the mark on my own shoes that still don't need replacing
and I'll thank them for my health.
I threw away maps of places I won't see again
it's such a waste, it's such a waste, the way it's been
and these dialogues in my own voice will never treat me right
it's such a waste, it's such a waste of this clear night.
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8. |
When I'm Bored
03:09
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I don't have any confidence so it's hard for me to tell
when I'm not doing right and when I'm getting fucked over
and I would be surprised as hell if you end up
coming back this way again just to come get me.
And I won't blame you,
hell, I don't blame you now.
I've been dropping hints from my slippery hands
just trying to get you to call.
well, they must still be slippery from where they've been
because you've never picked up on them at all,
not a single one.
And I won't blame you,
hell, I don't blame you now.
I just get so bitter when I'm bored.
And I won't blame you,
hell, I don't blame you now.
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9. |
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If mistakes in our plans don't kill us what will kill us then?
and if the blood in my hands didn't come from inside, where did it then?
and if our lives will be different, well, let them be different, then.
And I don't know what's in those notes that I wrote, but I remember them
and if the truth isn't in at least one, then I don't know what is
and if there's one word to make it clear I'm sure that I refrained from it.
Because I've got more dirt in my mouth than under my feet
and I think that it's starting to bother me.
And catharsis refuses to come quickly,
it's slowing down my bones, slowing down my bones
and making me walk
slowing down my bones, slowing down my bones
and making me walk
gracefully.
Fear is a radio whisper of a song I used to play
and as long as I'm deceiving myself, I can hear my name,
but the static sounds alright, I think that I will let it play today.
I didn't mean to give the game away, but that's just how it works
and I will make a list to apologize to people that I've hurt
and if you think that I'd mislead you, yeah, you can bet I would.
Because I've got more dirt in my mouth than under my feet
and I think that it's starting to bother me.
And catharsis refuses to come quickly,
it's slowing down my bones, slowing down my bones
and making me walk
slowing down my bones, slowing down my bones
and making me walk
gracefully.
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10. |
Spent a Long Time
02:04
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I'll try to cure it with my disposition
I can feel the space contracting in your head
and I can feel the contrast in my veins
it's bleeding me half to death
and I spent a long time
I spent a long time pretending I'm alright
still think I am, sometimes.
All I've got is too much time and not enough patience for it
and I've been spinning backwards half my life
and I've got this spoiled potential, trying not to waste it
trying my hardest not to let anything get by.
and I spent a long time
I spent a long time pretending I'm alright
still think I am, sometimes.
I can feel it filling up the room
and I can see the look that's on your face.
It can fall off of the shrug in our shoulders.
It can fall off the corners of today.
and I spent a long time
I spent a long time pretending I'm alright
still think I am, sometimes.
Still think I am.
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11. |
Then
03:04
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I'm on the wrong end of a hazy sunrise
and it is pushing me back into bed
and I will project on you that you are lonely, too
because I never learned to swallow it
and all my best dreams, they come from disappointments
and I base all my rash decisions off them
if you are tired of looking for explanations
you can take the one I've offered, then.
I never thought about suffering in silence
when I was rubbing my vocal chords thin
and I will tell anyone who will listen
because I never learned to bottle it
and all my movements are from the wrong direction
and I am waiting for the crash to begin
if you are looking for a gift of indignation
you can take the one I've offered, then.
And you made me sweet for a little while
yeah, that was probably the worst thing that you did
because I get worse at swallowing my bile
every time that I remember then.
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