1. |
Hey, Okay
02:59
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I didn't think I'd lose the passion for
the things I'm good, I didn't think my ego
would let me let them go
But if my ideas were worth fighting for
I really should've thrown a punch by now
Any attempt to be visceral is inherently violent
So I am so sorry for what I'm about to put you through
Hey once this song is done, I don't think l will be
anyone to you, and I am okay with that
So if you've got plans, I understand
And when you are gone, then I'll be okay with that
I'll learn to be okay
With that.
I'm sure I overthought it way too much
I didn't think I'd be losing arguments that bad in my head to you
But when you said you were doing work and I wasn't
I got so fucking angry
You don't have a fucking clue.
Here is a secret that I think has been excessively guarded:
I'm holding you hostage,
Can't you see you can't leave this room?
Hey once this song is done, I don't think l will be
anyone to you, and I am okay with that
So if you've got plans, I understand
And when you wash your hands of me, I'm okay with that,
I'll learn to be okay
With that.
Okay.
Hey once this song is done, I won't be anything to anyone
and I'll be okay with that,
And if you've got plans then I understand
So when you skip my gig, I'll be okay with that,
Turns out that I'm okay
With any goddamn thing.
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2. |
Volume
03:16
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Inhibition has a nice ring to it
When it's blowing my eardrums out
I think that I'll just stay inside
It's loud out there anyhow
And there's a boy who says he loves me
So I wrote him off without a thought,
How could anybody be so broken
To think I am what they want?
I'll turn the volume down
Just enough to drown it out
You can gather all that I've been missing
and put it on a pile on my front porch
But I don't want you getting all your hopes up
I don't check it anymore
If you could understand for just one moment
Why this might make me feel overwhelmed
And if it makes sense to you maybe it will spread
and make sense to someone else
I'll turn the volume down
Just enough to drown it out
Wanted to be part of something
Even if it's not something great
Inhibition's got a nice ring to
Even when it's pouring my heart dry
It's too noisy outside my house
I think I'll just stay inside
I'll turn the volume down
Just enough to drown it out
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3. |
Animal Instinct
03:50
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A paragon of civility
I'm the peacemaker in all of my dreams
With no plans to actualize
I was told I have a servant's soul
Against the preponderance of all that I know
And all that I know is steadily growing in size
You think I'd know by now
Out of what fabric I was cut out
Animal instinct
In the middle of such unfortunate things
And that's how I've been living my life
An obsession with the thought of
The decadence I have recently bought
But haven't used so it just sits in my house
And doesn't move
A prototype for complacency
And the relief that it allegedly brings
is nailing my feet to the floor
The multitude of anxieties
That I hoped would never get used against me
Is turning my head away from the door
You'd think l figure out
What in my head was worth talking about
Animal instinct
In the middle of such unfortunate things
And that's how I've been living my life
An obsession with the thought of
The decadence I have recently bought
But haven't used so it just sits in my house
And doesn't move
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4. |
Whoknows
02:58
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Impressionistic paintings of
The things I've accreted slowly
One eye on the synapses
That scarcely get the job done
I've got one legacy to leave
I'll leave it here where I stand
Who knows what I would have chosen
In my desperation?
Who knows what I have chosen
With plenty of time?
The earth is still completely molten
While it is absorbing comets
Lay the things I own in front of me
To evaluate
Perseverance never believed me
Leave it back in the past
Who knows what I would have chosen
In my desperation?
Who knows what I have chosen
With plenty of time to choose?
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5. |
Harbinger
03:05
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I could be the change you wanna see
I could admit it's already being done by someone better than
Me
I could be a harbinger for peace
I could admit it's already being done by someone better than
Me
I can't find it in my bones
I could be the mess inside the box inside your conscience or I
Could admit it's already being done by someone better than
Me
I could be the piece of filth in the last corner of the universe
You haven't spot-checked yet and all that's left to do is clean
Me
I can't find it in my bones
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6. |
Participant Token
02:50
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7. |
Perfectly Seasoned
03:17
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What stated out as a fiction
Quickly internalized
And if you're as sick of the injustice
Progress and wealth as I am
Get a number and get in line
And get behind me
And if I've garnered your favor
I can only assure you
All my words were perfectly seasoned
Before I was made to eat them
I thought
With my hands in my pockets
I'd pull out a picture
of this whole thing getting better
Or something that actually mattered
And if you think
That the things you complete
Will in turn eventually complete you
Well, get in line
It goes around the block
And if I've got you frustrated
I can't say I'm surprised, 'cause
All my words were perfectly seasoned
Before I was made to eat them
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8. |
Refuse
04:22
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Of all of the curious things that I could be
I am hardly a centerpiece worth mentionining
With all the words that they carved in my skin and bones
You can take them to heart but they won't lead you home
Or at the least
they won't for me
And even on the opposite shore they're rebuilding
But I refuse to be a part of it
And even if I wanna move on there's no growing
No, I refuse to be a part of it
I refuse I refuse I refuse
Of all of the frivolous ways to self-flagellate
I have settled on one and it hangovers my face
You can read into this whatever you like
It might help for today but it won't change your life
Or at the least
they won't for me
And even on the opposite shore they're rebuilding
But I refuse to be a part of it
And even if I wanna know more there's no knowing
No, I refuse to be a part of it
I refuse
In spite of myself
I drag my feet somewhere else
And even on the opposite shore they're rebuilding
But I refuse to be a part of it
And even if I wanna know more there's no knowing
No, I refuse to be a part of it
I refuse I refuse I refuse
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9. |
Standing In The Way
03:08
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I can not take it
I have been faking
Small talk
It wants to be the world, the whole world
And all I can mention
Is what it's been doing
Out my door
It makes me move my feet
And I am cruel
With what I might do
And if the world is finally conquered by my
Hubris I won't be
Standing in the way
And it'll take some time to relapse now
But if I put my mind through hell
I won't be standing in the way
I will not take it
I have been making
Threats all my life
You wouldn't be the first
I will not play nice
I have already
Given my time
I know my worth
And I am cruel
With what I might do
And if the world is finally conquered by my
Hubris I won't be
Standing in the way
And it'll take some time to relapse now
But if I put my mind through hell
I won't be standing in the way
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10. |
All The Same
03:47
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The light was tempered by the dust
That hung in the windows
And made the place feel abandoned
The hangings on the wall made me feel young enough
Not to worry about what happened
And if the world is stolen from us
I won't even bat an eye
Like I've time to waste
Self-satisfied and afraid
Like I had time to waste
Comfortable but bitter all the same
Potentiality
Never sunk its teeth in me
So why would it now?
Bittersweet
Never tasted right to me
So why would it now?
And if the world is stolen from us
I won't even bat an eye
Like I've time to waste
Self-satisfied and afraid
Like I had time to waste
Comfortable but bitter all the same
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11. |
Panoply
02:13
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I thought it wouldn't hurt to try things out
So I started taking stabs at myself
And I'll let you know if the bloodletting quits
Wouldn't it be such a sight to see
A song without some irony?
Sorry, with me
This is as good as it gets
We'll be doing fine
Just over the state line
But we can pretend
That we're farther away
And if our panolply
Decides it's done with you and me
We can make our split
And claim that it's in self-defense
You know, I wouldn't call what I've got "hate"
But I don't ever stay up too late
Pondering semantics that aren't easily solved
But I'm still good as a last resort
(Hey, don't sell your own self short!)
Okay, maybe I'm also good for a self-defeating
Self-serving retort
We'll be doing fine
Just over our state of mind
But we can pretend
That we're farther away
And if our panolply
Wants to be buried with me
We can make our split
And claim that it's in self-
...defense
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12. |
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You said
There will be a wanting when I'm gone
If that's true
You can always leave me on
In the background
The words are real
I think you outghta know
That all the hurt
That I intend to show
Plays fine
Plays fine in the background
I'm still like a stray dog so
Whatever worth catharsis is
It isn't one that's obvious
I can't tell if it's working
And if I've got it wrong
Blame it on the sequel songs
That show I'm still dragging my feet
All of the time
In the background of
Your narrative life
The words are real
I think you know by now
That I am the person in my songs
That you leave in the background
And I really shoulda left by now
I've got to go now.
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